


The Journey

by multishippinglover



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Caring Dean Winchester, Caring John Winchester, Comfort, Crying Sam, Drugging, Gen, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Infantilism, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Trauma, Upset Sam, at first, non-con infantilism, non-sexual infantilism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 14:00:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12191316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multishippinglover/pseuds/multishippinglover
Summary: Set right after the fight with Sam and John, where Sam leaves to go to Stanford. Except, Sam never made it to California. Instead, he gets kidnapped by a couple who decide to make him their baby. It isn't until three months later, when John and Dean go to Stanford to see how Sam's doing, do they realize that the Winchester never made it, and John and Dean go on a mission to find Sam, rescue him, and help him in the journey back after being forced to be a baby for months.





	The Journey

**Author's Note:**

> This is a birthday fic for a friend of mine on tumblr, so I'm also posting this here for her. Happy Birthday to Lizdoral79 :)
> 
> (if you want to read the full prompt she gave me here is the link http://spnkink-meme.livejournal.com/103958.html?thread=39405078#t39405078)

Sam had stormed off, the door slamming in John’s face, and John had instantly regretted what he said to his son. But the words were already out, and John knew that he couldn’t take them back.

So John swallowed the anger. And he swallowed the fear. And he turned away from the shut door, going to his stuff and starting to pack up.

“Get ready to leave at dawn, Dean.” John said, voice hard.

“D-Dad…” Dean started, unsure of what to do with Sam gone now.

“Dean. Get packing. We’re leaving at dawn.” John repeated, unable to look at his eldest son.

“You got it, Dad.” Dean said, voice soft.

John paused in his packing, swallowing again. It was taking everything he had not to chase after Sam right now, and beg him to come back.

If this is what Sam wants, then this is what Sam wants.

That’s what John told himself anyway as he continued to pack.

_

It was raining hard, and Sam regretted not staying at the bus station for the next bus out. But he wanted to get as far away from the hotel room and John as he could. So he trekked on in the rain, with his head held high.

He was cold and tired by the time he made it to the next town, but the rain had started to ease up just a bit.

Sam found a Walmart and decided to wait in there until the rain lightened up completely, then he would make a trek to the nearest bus station.

He used the restroom, and dried off inside the building, before he walked outside and plopped down on a bunch that was under the cover of the roof of the building, watching the rain fall.

Sam could feel his eyelids start to droop, and as much as he tried not to, he ended up falling asleep on the bench, while the rain rages on.

_

Sam was too out of it to really realize what was happening, and even if he did, it would have been too late.

Blurs of faces entered his vision, but he was too cold, too tired, and too wet to care.

That was when he felt the pinch on his neck and that was when he woke up, but whatever he had been injected with was working fast and well, and Sam was loosing consciousness almost instantly.

He felt his mouth working, mumbling something; something about Dean and John, but Sam’s brain decided it wasn’t gonna work anymore, and everything went black.

_

When Sam woke up, he groaned, head feeling like it was spinning around the room. He shut his eyes, and went to move his hands to his face, when he realized that he was tucked under blankets

With a grunt, Sam worked out of the blankets, which were wrapped around him fairly tightly, and he narrowly missed hitting his head on the bars that were above his head.

Sam took his surroundings in and realized that he was in some sort of cage. At least that was what it had to be.

There was a soft glow from one side of the room he was in, illuminating enough so that his eyes could adjust in the darkness. He looked down at himself and saw that he was dressed differently. The clothing was softer, and significantly less wet.

Then the door opened, and a light turned on; making Sam blink rapidly, as his eyes tried to adjust.

“You’re right, Daddy, our little baby is awake.” A female voice said, as two bodies walked into the room.

“I told you I heard him groan. Looks like the drugs are finally working themselves off of the little guy.” A male voice replied.

“’M not a f’ckin’ b’by.” Sam slurred out, horrified at how he sounded. He looked down at himself and saw that he was in a onesie with little bears all over the soft blue fabric. “”M not. Le-l’mme go.” Sam said, trying to reach out for the bars, that was so not a crib that he was stuck in. He whimpered softly, realizing that his coordination was affected, and that his arms felt so sluggish. His entire body felt sluggish, and it freaked him out, but Sam held back the tears that were threatening to start spilling.

“Oh baby, don’t say that naughty word. Babies don’t say that to their mommies and daddies.” The female voice said again

“N’t m’ mommy. N’t d’ddy. F’ck you. ‘M not a b’by. F’ck off.” Sam said. “’M d’d an’ br’ther will find me.” Sam got out.

“Oh baby. We are your mommy and daddy now. Don’t lie to us.” The male voice sighed.

The two bodies walked over, and knelt in front of Sam, and Sam slowly tried to scoot away from the strangers.

“Don’t have to be scared of us, baby. We won’t hurt you.” Mommy -the woman- said. Sam shut his eyes

“Besides, you old family won’t find you. Not now.” Daddy -the man- said. “We’re your family now. We’re your daddy and mommy, and we will take care of you.”

“No!” Sam shouted, or he tried to. To his horror, he sounded more like an insolent child. “T-th’y’ll f’nd me.” He said, weaker.

“They won’t. Not at all.” The man who called himself Daddy said. “You’re our baby now. and our baby you’ll stay. Forever and ever.”

In Sam’s muddied, drugged filled mind, he remembered the fight that he had with John, and that was what broke him.

He broke down crying where he laid, and before he could even process them couple moving, they opened the bars, and lowered them, sitting down beside Sam and holding him gently.

“It’s OK, baby.” Mommy said, running her hand through Sam’s hair. “We’re here for you. And we always will be.”

Sam cried softly, almost curling in on himself as gentle hands tried to soothe him.

_

*1 month later*

Sam was leaning on the couch, watching the little kid’s show that was on TV.

He could hear Mommy in the kitchen, making something for lunch, while Daddy was working on the computer to Sam’s left.

“Alrighty! Lunch time for my two boys.” Mommy said, walking into the room with a tray, that had two plates, a baby bottle, and baby food.

She set the tray down, putting the plates on the table where Daddy was working and walked over with the bottle and baby food.

Sam whined, trying to push himself away from Mommy; but Mommy easily caught him, and kept him still.

“Now baby, don’t you want to eat something?” Mommy asked.

Sam nodded, but looked at the food on the plates, longing for one of the sandwiches that was there.

“No, no. That’s adult food. Babies have baby food.”

Sam whined again, shaking his head, and he tried to pull away, but Mommy kept a good grip on him. He hated the baby food, but sam hated the bottles more; mostly because he knew that they were drugged so that he could stay complacent. And Sam was pretty sure that was the worse thing about this whole situation.

“Baby…does Mommy need to give you a spanking?” Mommy asked, voice threatening. Sam’s eyes grew wide, and he shook his head, willingly moving over to sit beside Mommy.

The drugging wasn’t the worst thing. The spankings were. Sam could still feel the bruises on his butt from the last spanking that he got, and he really didn’t want a repeat of that.

“Good boy.” Mommy cooed, running her fingers through Sam’s hair. “Good baby.” She opened the baby food and spooned out some of the yellow mush, bringing it up to Sam’s lips. “Open wide baby.” Mommy said sweetly, and Sam looked at her, giving a small dejected whimper, before he opened his mouth up to accept the food that was on the spoon.

_

*2 months later*

Sam was starting to give up on John and Dean finding him. On anyone finding him. Sam knew that that was what the couple, what Mommy and Daddy wanted. And, jesus, it scared him.

It was around dinner time, and a little bit before Sam’s bath time, and Sam was alone in the living room. Whatever drugs they were giving him were starting to wear off, but after being on them for so long, Sam knew that he was royally fucked. Sam couldn’t walk anymore, let alone even stand. And crawling slowed him down so much. But that was all he had at the moment.

It didn’t stop him from trying to escape. Sam crawled around the couch, hearing chatter in the kitchen, and he looked over at the front door. No time like the present.

Slowly, Sam made his way over to the front door, feeling freedom just in his grasp.

And then it was ripped away from him. Like a slap in the face. Honestly, he rather have a slap in the face over this hell.

“What do you think you are doing, mister?” Daddy’s voice came from behind him.

Sam froze, turning around and giving a gulp.

“Window. Look.” Sam said, turning back and pointing to the window by the door. “Window, Daddy.”

“I think we’ve had more than one talk about lying, baby boy.” Daddy said, crossing his arms.

“Window!” Sam insisted, fearing the looming spanking that he was going to get. “Daddy, window!” Sam could feel tears threatening to spill. God, he didn’t want to get spanked. His lower lip quivered, and Sam hated that he could easily feel like this with just one glance from Daddy.

“Get over here, baby.” Daddy said.

Sam whimpered, but turned back and crawled over to Daddy, sitting down and looking up at the man.

“Daddy…” Sam whimpered softly.

“Baby, you can’t leave. It’s dangerous out there for a little boy like you.”

Sam whimpered again, and looked down at the floor, vision starting to get blurry as unshed tears burned his eyes.

“You know that you’re in trouble right?”

“No! No, daddy, no!” Sam begged, his head shooting up, as tears fell down his cheeks. “No spanks!”

“Baby, you know what happens when you try to run.” Daddy sighed.

“No!” Sam cried out, looking back down, hating that he was crying like a little baby.

“Baby, it’s OK. Me and Mommy will still love you. we still care about you. But you need to be disciplined when you run away, or try to. C’mon. Let’s go into the living room, and get this over with.”

Sam cried softly, but he followed after Daddy, not wanting to make anything worse. He silently prayed that Dean and John would find him, but after the fight he had with John, he didn’t even know if John or Dean knew that he never made it to Stanford.

_

*3 months later*

It was late in the day and John and Dean had just finished up laying three nasty ghosts to rest. They were right close to California, specifically…Stanford.

John stood quiet, looking down at his duffle bag and taking a silent deep breath. “Dean, you want to take a little detour before we find our next hunt?” John asked, looking up at his eldest.

“What do you mean Dad?” Dean asked, looking at John confused.

“We’re…we’re near where Sammy goes to school Dean…” John said, voice trailing off with the implication. Dean’s mouth dropped, completely caught off guard, but he quickly recovered, and nodded, trying to hide his excitement. John could see it, but didn’t say anything.

“Yeah, Dad. Yeah, let’s do that.” Dean said, packing up his stuff a little faster than before. “If we leave soon, we can make it before dark.”

John nodded, giving a soft chuckle, knowing that Dean has been thinking about this as much as he has.

_

Dean was right in the time it would take to get to Stanford. John parked the car in front of the main building, looking at all the other college kids walking around. “Stay here Dean, I’ll go in and figure out where Sam’s dorm is.” John’s nerves felt like they were on fire at the moment, and he could only pray that Sam was doing as well as he figured Sam would be.

Dean got out of the car, stretching his legs as John made his way inside the building, and he looked around, admiring all the college girls that he was seeing.

“Damn, if this is what Sammy gets to wake up to every day, then jesus, I’d wanna be here too.” Dean muttered, giving a wink at a girl who had been starting to check him out.

The girl flushed and walked quicker with her friend, making it obvious as she turned to look back at Dean while she walked off.

Dean grinned and laughed, watching the two walk off, when he suddenly saw a mask of panic, worry, and anger on John’s face as the oldest Winchester stormed out of the main building.

“Dad? What’s going on? Where’s Sammy?” Dean asked, warning bells ringing in his head.

“I don’t know. He never made it to Stanford.” John said. _This is your fault, John._ “Get in the car, Dean. Now. We need to go.” _You pushed him away._

Dean got in the passenger’s seat, as John slid in the front, and he took off almost immediately.

“Sam was set on going to college. Why isn’t he here?” Dean asked out loud, mostly to himself. Fear was taking over quickly, and Dean was certain that he would have something adjacent to a panic attack. “Oh god…”

“We will find him.” John said, voice hard. _All your fault._ His hands were tight around the steering wheel, and his eyes were locked on the road. “We will find out what took him. And whatever did is going to regret the day it decided that it was my son that it could take.” _Sammy hates you, and now he’s missing, and it’s. All. Your. Fault._

Dean looked at John with big watery eyes, seeing how set John’s face was. Dean knew that when John’s face was like this, whatever he said was final. And if there was anyone who could find Sam, it was John.

_Your fault._

_

John made it back to the motel room that he had the fight with Sam in record time. A lot of emotions started to well up in John, but he wasn’t gonna break down. Not right now. He had a mission and that was to find Sam.

Dean had already broken down twice, and John wanted to comfort him badly, but he needed to get to the motel so they could try to figure out where Sam went.

Night was falling when John pulled in a space, looking around. “If I were Sam, which way would I walk?” John asked, turning to Dean. He was trying to get Dean to focus, so Dean would put his fear and anger into finding Sam.

“Fuck…I’d…” Dean trailed off, sniffling.

“Dean?” John asked, looking at his eldest.

Dean looked down at his hands, and wiped his nose, sniffling again. He looked back up at John and gave a soft sigh. “If I were Sam, I’d want to get away from everything here. From me. From you. Everything. Find the first bus ticket out. It was raining and late at night, so he’d probably also want some shelter while he waited for the station to open.”

“Then we start at the nearest bus station and we move on from there.” John said, with a nod. With that, he pulled out of the parking space and drove off.

_

It had taken them a while, but eventually, John and Dean found themselves at the Walmart at the next town over. Sam wasn’t at either of the bus-stops as far as John or Dean knew, so when Dean saw the Walmart as they drove, he knew that it was the next best place to look at.

John and Dean split up, John waling inside, and Dean taking outside, so they could cover more ground. Dean walked around, talking to the employees that he saw outside. Dean told them the truth, his brother was missing and he was trying to retrace Sam’s steps.

Unfortunately, none of the people he talked to knew anything about that night, and Dean had all but given up, when a scrawny teen came up to him with big eyes.

“Hey, man…you said that you were looking for someone?”

Dean turned to the teen and nodded, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, my brother Sam.”

“Tall guy? Like really tall, like you? Brown hair, kinda a lanky build but not really?”

“That’s him. That’s Sam! You were here that night?” Dean asked, feeling a little hope spark in him.

“Yeah, man. I was. I-I tried telling people, but no one would listen to me, man!”

“I’m listening to you right now. Tell me, what happened?” Dean asked, full attention now on this teen.

“Man, he went inside for a little bit, he was super wet, guess he wanted to dry off from wherever he came from. Afterwards he went outside, crashed on a bench, waiting for the rain to let up from the looks of it. I was pulling in carts and I saw him.”

“What happened after that?” Dean asked. He saw John walk out of the building, and he motioned John over urgently. “This kid saw Sam, Dad.”

John instantly shot his head to look at the teen. “You saw him?” John asked.

“Yeah, man. Like I was sayin’…he was chilling on the bench. Fell asleep.” The teen said, looking from Dean to John. “Then a van pulled up, a couple came out, and they nabbed him.”

“Wait, a van?” Dean asked, a little taken off guard. _A van? What this kid is saying…it couldn’t be…_

“Yeah, man. A van. Like a plain white van. A couple came out, man and a woman. the injected him with something in a syringe, made him pass out, and they took him. I saw the whole thing. B-but people go missing, and it was dark, so it never went anywhere.”

“Was there anything about the van that you recognized? Anything that you can remember?” John asked. “Son, anything that you can remember is important.”

“Umm…the van…it had a big dent on the back of it. Like a BIG one. But I don’t know the license plate or anything.”

“No, son. You did good thank you.” John said, patting the teen’s shoulder.

“Hey, it’s no problem. I really hope you guys find him. That shit’s scary. but you know what’s crazy, man?” The teen asked.

“What?” Dean replied, cocking his head slightly.

“I’ve seen the couple in here before, shopping. Buying shit like baby food and stuff. Guess they have a newborn, and fuck man…I don’t even wanna know what they need your brother for.”

Dean frown, and nodded, and looked at John. “we should go Dad. maybe call Bobby, and Pastor Jim. Caleb…everyone.”

“Yeah, we will Dean. Again, thank you, son.” John said, before walking off to the Impala. Dean followed behind him, and when they got in the car, Dean turned to John.

“Dad! Fucking regular humans took Sam! Humans! God, normal people are fucking crazy, Dad. We need to find Sam.”

“And we will. Start calling Caleb, and Pastor Jim. I’ll call Bobby and we’ll work from there. No one is fucking taking my son and getting away with it. This is the last mistake this couple will ever make in their goddamn life.” John said, a slight growl in his voice, before he pulled out his phone and started dialing. Dean nodded and did the same.

_

*one week later*

“Caleb found Sam’s location.” Was all John said to Dean one day, after getting off the phone. It had been a long week of endless searching to find the younger Winchester.

Dean shot up from the motel bed he was on, and grabbed his duffle bag, heading out into the Impala after John.

_

Mommy and Daddy had already fed Sam his afternoon bottle and put Sam down for his nap in the crib that was more like a cage. After one too many failed attempts at escape, they had shut the top on it, effectively leaving bars all around Sam. Not that he could actually escape anymore. His body was too fucked up and escape was looking like a dream of the past now.

Sam yawned, growing more tired, and he shut his eyes, falling asleep in the crib, when he heard a loud and sharp crash coming from downstairs. Sam’s eyes shot open and he heard yelling from multiple people, and he whimpered, afraid someone was trying to attack Mommy and Daddy. If they were hurt, what would happen to him? As horrible as the feeling was, Sam knew that he relied on them to live. So Sam did the only thing that he could, and he cried, loud and clear, hoping to scare off the intruders.

Sam heard running up the steps, and he continued to cry, eyes screwed shut.

Then Sam heard one voice that he never thought he’d hear again.

“Sammy! Oh my god, Sammy!” Dean’s panicked voice said. “Sam, fuck, I thought I was never going to see you again. Fuck, how does this thing open? I’m gonna get you out, Sammy, just you wait.”

Sam started to cry harder, overwhelmed with the fact that he was being rescued.

Dean growled softly, unable to get the crib opened up to pull Sam out, and he turned his head. “Dad! Dad, I found him! I found Sam! Dad!” Dean shouted out.

Sam’s eyes opened, looking at Dean with watery eyes, and Sam thought he was dreaming. John had come for him with Dean. John and Dean. Together. Finding him.

“Sammy, Sammy, calm down, you’re gonna hyperventilate.” Dean said, trying to reach through the bars to touch Sam. “Dad! I need you!” Dean called out, crouching down beside Sam. “We’re getting you out Sam.”

Another pair of footsteps emerged, and Sam saw John run into the room, panic on his face.

“Sammy.” John said, rushing over to the crib to join his two sons.

_

Everything happened in such a blur, that Sam couldn’t keep up, and he was tired as hell, so he ended up falling asleep in the back of the Impala, and on Dean.

Dean had kept a hand on him the entire time while John drove to the hospital that Pastor Jim told them about. Pastor Jim was going to meet them there, along with other hunters, like Bobby and Caleb, over the next few days.

John kept looking in the rearview mirror, looking at Sam and Dean, when he caught Dean’s eyes. “We got him, Dad. We got Sam back.” Dean said.

John nodded, eyes going back to the road. It didn’t stop him from looking back at his sons every now and then on their way to the hospital.

_

“Holy shit, Dad, how did Pastor Jim get a special favor from this type of hospital?” Dean asked, looking around at the fancy exterior of the building as the two oldest Winchester’s got Sam out of the car, seeing Pastor Jim and a nurse bringing out a wheelchair for them.

“Dealing with two poltergeists, a handful of very angry spirits, and one demon that, combined, have a giant body count will get you special privileges.” John said, as the two others walked up to them.

“Damn.” Dean said, impressed.

“Pastor Jim.” John greeted, helping maneuver Sam into the wheelchair. Sam grunted, but for the most part, stayed asleep.

“John. Dean.” Pastor Jim nodded.

“We’ll have him in exam room 1, and after that room 202.” The nurse said, before she started wheeling Sam off. Dean, John, and Pastor Jim were close behind.

“Thank the Lord that you found him.” Pastor Jim said. “I can’t even imagine what the two of you must have been feeling.”

“What’s important is that we got him back.” Dean said, looking at the pastor. “Thanks for helping us.”

“Anything for you three.” Pastor Jim smiled.

_

Sam woke up, feeling himself in a different bed. When he cracked his eyes open, he saw that he was lying in a hospital room. He also felt like complete shit.

The door was cracked open and he could hear voices floating through, they probably thought that he was asleep still.

“…and he’s underweight. You two will need to slowly, and I mean slowly, introduce solid foods back into his system. Start with stuff like pudding and jello, cause you don’t want him to get sick. Now…there is a chance that he might freak out seeing you two. He could easily have stockholm syndrome cause of the months that he was with them.” Months??? ”You both need to take it slowly with him right now. He’s gonna need to depend on you two.”

“Thanks, Doctor.” _Dad._ “Dean, you should go first. I…I don’t know…if he even recognizes me…I don’t know if he’d want to see me.” _No, Dad…_

“OK.” The door opened even more, and Dean walked in. Sam’s eyes locked with Dean’s, and Sam was pretty sure you could hear a pin drop in the room with how quiet it was.

“Dean!” Sam cried out, struggling to get up.

“Sammy!” Dean got out, voice cracking. He ran to his brother, and gripped him tightly, breaking down. Sam could feel his own tears running down his face, as he reached up and gripped his brother.

John slowly entered the room, and stood still, looking at Sam.

“Sammy…” John started, voice dying.

“Dad.” Sam said, reaching out a hand for John.

John moved over, gripping his two sons in a tight hug, a shiver running through his body. “Sam, I’m sorry-” John said, looking up at Sam.

“It’s OK, Dad. I’m not mad. Not anymore. I’m just so glad to see you two. I thought-I…” Sam whimpered, and pressed his face against John and Dean, shaking as he cried. “I was scared.” He got out.

“We know, Sammy. We all were.” Dean whispered.

_

After two days of observation, with multiple hunters filtering in and out, seeing the three Winchester men, Sam was finally released from the hospital.

“I wanna try to walk.” Sam said, as Dean pushed in the wheelchair to bring Sam to the Impala.

“Sammy, the doctors said that the nerves in your body are really fucked up….you’re not gonna be able to…”

“Then…then help me. But Dean…I don’t wanna be in that wheelchair. Help me walk outta here, and to the Impala.”

“Sure thing, Sam.” Dean nodded, leaving the wheelchair behind. He walked over to Sam and helped him up, getting Sam’s right arm over his shoulder, as he wrapped his other hand around Sam’s waist. “How’s your ass doing? Bruises not achin’ that much anymore?”

When they had first found Sam, the doctor’s had told John and Dean that Sam had a lot of bruises on his butt and the back of his thighs. They had figured it was from Sam trying to walk and falling back down on his ass pretty hard, but as Sam revealed, it was from getting spanked for misbehaving or trying to run away.

“Yeah. They don’t really hurt much anymore.” Sam nodded, looking down at his feet. “Plus, the diaper helps cushion the ones on my ass.” Sam murmured quietly. That was another thing that he had hated about staying with the couple. He never was able to use an actual toliet, and always was made -or forced- to go in a diaper, until he lost the ability to be able to use the toilet at all. “I’ll be glad when they all clear up entirely.”

“I get you, Sam. Alright. One foot in front of the other, bro.”

“OK, De’.” Sam nodded. It was painful to watch Sam struggle and almost slip up as they made the journey from hospital room to the car. Multiple nurses tried to stop them, saying stuff about policy, but Dean just gave them a pleading look that they wouldn’t put Sam in a wheelchair. The nurses nodded and understood, backing off as the two brothers made their way outside.

When Sam finally got to the Impala, sliding in the backseat, he was panting, like he just had a workout.

“Ready to go to Bobby’s?” John asked, eyes locking with Sam’s.

“Yeah, Daddy.” Sam nodded, getting settled in the back.

“Alright, Sammy. We’re heading off.” John said, driving out of the parking lot of the hospital.

_

They got to Bobby’s by nightfall, and John helped Sam up to the house, keeping a steady grip on his son when Sam tried to fall over. Dean grabbed the duffle bags, and the three walked into Bobby’s house.

The books that were usually everywhere in the older hunter’s house were stacked slightly neater, making a little more room in the house.

“Hey, Bobby.” Dean greeted, as he took the stuff upstairs.

“Hey Dean.” Bobby said, watching Dean walk up the strais, before turning to John and Sam. “John. Sam.”

“Bobby.” Sam smiled “It’s good to see you.”

“You too, boy.” Bobby nodded, giving Sam’s shoulder a squeeze. “I’ve got some food set up for the three of you in the kitchen if you want to eat when Dean comes back down.”

“That sounds great, Bobby, thanks.” John said.

“Sure thing. I’ll see you in there.” Bobby said, before turning and walking into the kitchen.

“Sam?” John asked, looking at the younger Winchester. “Did you use the diaper yet?” It was a sensitive subject, but the question had to be asked. Sam went for a good chunk of the ride without using it, but they did have to pull off the road once so Sam could get changed.

“Yeah.” Sam nodded, face flushing red. “I-I can change myself though. I can, Dad.”

“Sam…” John sighed, helping lead Sam to the bathroom. Dean came down the stairs, handing John a diaper and some baby wipes, looking at Sam sympathetically.

“I figured that you might need it.” Dean said.

“Thanks, Dean. Bobby has some dinner ready. Go join him in the kitchen.”

“You got it.” Dean said, walking away from Sam and John. John got Sam in the bathroom, and helped him lie on the floor, while Sam threw an arm over his face, face as red as a beet, as John started getting Sam’s pants off.

“I hate this. I hate it so much.” Sam whimpered. “Daddy…I hate this.”

“I know, son. I know.” John said, getting Sam out of his diaper and quickly cleaning Sam up. He put Sam in the new one and put Sam’s pants back on, but it didn’t stop the tears from falling down Sam’s face.

“I’m fucking broken.” Sam sobbed out.

“Hey. No you are not. You are not broken, Sam.” John said, washing his hands, before he helped Sam get up. “They fucked with you, but they didn’t break you.”

“And how did they not? I can’t do anything on my own anymore, Dad!” Sam said, tears still running down his face

“If they had broken you, you wouldn’t be having this conversation with me. You would be crying and screaming to go back to them. You wouldn’t have fought against them. Sam, you survived three months with them. You survived three months when your average person might have not. You aren’t broken. Me and Dean will be with you every step of the way, and we’ll help you when you need it.”

Sam nodded, and sniffled, hugging John as pressing his face into John’s shoulder. John held Sam there for a few moments, before Sam finally pulled back.

“You alright, Sam?” John asked.

“Yeah.” Sam nodded. “Let’s go get some dinner.” The two made their way to Bobby and Dean, who were already eating, and John helped Sam sit down.

There was some jello and pudding waiting for Sam, along with some crackers. A drink was sitting beside the plate, one that wasn’t in a bottle, and one that Sam knew wasn’t drugged.

“Do you need help?” Dean asked, sitting down beside Sam, watching Sam.

“I-I want to try it by myself first.” Sam said, looking down at the spoon that was by the bowl. He reached out for it, and tried to pick it up. Every time that Sam thought he had a good grip on the spoon, he always dropped it, and after the fourth time of failing, Sam gave up.

“De’-Dean…” Sam said, clearing his throat, and glancing at the people around him. “I-I need your help.”

“Sure thing, Sammy. I got you.” Dean nodded, lifting the spoon and scooping some pudding onto it. Sam opened his mouth and Dean fed Sam the pudding, watching Sam lick his lips when Dean pulled the spoon away. “Attaboy, Sammy.”

Sam gave a small smile, and he let Dean feed him the pudding and jello, while he slowly ate at the crackers, crushing a few of them in the process. Then came the drink, and Sam reached out with both hands, wrapping both hands around the drink, and dragging it closer to him. Carefully, Sam tried to lift it, kneeling his head so he could make contact with the cup. He about had it when the cup dropped back on the table, and splashed out everywhere. Dean was on him in an instant, helping clean Sam up, and helping him take a drink.

“Got ya, Sammy. I got you.” Dean said.

“Thanks, Dean.

“It’s no problem, Sammy.” Dean said, giving Sam a smile.

After the nightmare that was dinner, Sam was starting to feel tired, so John and Dean helped Sam to his room.

John tucked Sam in, running a hand through Sam’s hair.

“Nice Sam.” Dean said softly, watching Sam’s eyes droop more and more.

“Night, De’. Night Daddy.” Sam sighed softly, eyes shutting.  
“Love ya.”

“We love you too, Sammy.” John said, motioning to Dean to leave Sam for the night. Dean nodded, taking one look back at Sam, before he and John left the room.

_

The Winchesters fell into a rhythm at Bobby’s house while Dean and John taught Sam how to do things again. It was hard work and everyone in the house was really hoping that it paid off in the end.

It was around seven in the morning and Dean woke up to try to make some breakfast for everyone when he heard some movement going out in the hallway.

“What…?” He opened his door and saw Sam clinging onto a wall for dear life, a diaper tucked under his armpit. “Sammy! What the hell do you think you’re doing!” Dean exclaimed, rushing over and trying to grab Sam to help him to the bathroom.

“No! I got it! Let me do it by myself!” Sam said, pulling away from Dean.

“S-Sam…we’re just introducing solids back into you. You won’t be able to get everything from the first go. That’s why me and Dad are here to help. We’re gonna help you on that long road back.”

“I just want to use the toilet Dean. I gotta get there. I don’t want to use these diapers anymore.”

“Sammy, I know, I know. And you’ll get there. I know you will.” Dean said.

Sam looked at the other side of the hallway, where the door to the bathroom was located, and he launched himself off the wall, trying to make it to the other side. When Dean saw Sam start to teeter, he reached out trying to grab Sam, but it was too late and the younger Winchester fell.

“Sammy!” Dean shouted. he knelt down, helping Sam sit up, and Sam broke down.

“Sorry, De’. Sorry.” Sam cried grabbing onto his brother.

“Its OK, Sam. Don’t be sorry. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

Sam whimpered, pressing his face into Dean’s shoulder, and Dean knew that Sam must have used the diaper.

“Did you use it last night too?” Dean asked.

Sam nodded, sniffling and crying. “Don’t be mad De’. Sorry. Sorry, De’.”

“Hey, I’m not mad, why would I be mad at you?” Dean asked.

“Bein’ bad. Not doin’ what I need to. Don’t be mad. Change me, De’. Don’t leave me.” Flashbacks were filtering back in Sam’s head. On countless occasions, when Sam had done something wrong, try to do something ‘that only adults do’, Mommy and Daddy would leave him alone in his used diaper, just to remind him that he was their baby. Sam remembered crawling after them, begging and crying for them to change him. But they would leave him and do other things in the house.

“Jesus Christ, Sam. I’m not gonna leave you in the diaper. I’m gonna change you. Let’s get to the bathroom.”

Dean helped Sam get up, and Sam looked back, seeing John watching the two with a worried expression. “I heard you fall, and came out to see what had happened.”

“Sorry, Daddy.” Sam said.

“It’s OK, Sammy. Let Dean change you and we can get some breakfast started.”

“OK Daddy.” Sam nodded, leaning on Dean as the two made the walk to the bathroom. Just from watching Sam, it was obvious that he was reverting back to the ways that he functioned when he was with the couple who took him during times, and John knew that he was going to go back to stubborn Sammy once Dean was done changing his diaper. John decided to talk to Sam later about what he’s going through, so that the two of them could at least be on the same page.

John went downstairs, seeing Bobby was already up and working in his study on a hunt that someone contacted him about.

“Hey, what happened upstairs?” Bobby asked.

“Sam tried to get to the bathroom on his own.” John said. Bobby nodded, looking up towards the stairs. “You know, thank you for allowing us to come into your home, Bobby.” John said. Bobby looked back at John and gave a small smile.

“We’ve had our moments. A lot of rough moments, but in the end I’d do anything to help you and your boys. This home has always been open for the three of you.”

John nodded, glancing back up the steps. “The night Sam left…it was hard. I realized just how much of a rift I made between me and Sam.” John said, turning back to Bobby. “Some point during this whole mess, I became more of a drill sergeant to them than a father. But when I learned Sam wasn’t at Stanford after all that time, and there was the fear of never seeing my son again? I would have never forgiven myself. This is my second chance, Bobby. I don’t want to fuck it up.”

“Well, you’re doing a pretty good job so far, John.” Bobby said.

John gave another nod and turned towards the kitchen. “I was gonna cook up some food. Have you eaten yet?”

“Not yet.” Bobby shook his head. “I was just about to make something.”

“Don’t worry about it. I got it.” John said, walking into the kitchen.

A few moments later, Sam and Dean made their way down the stairs and walked over to Bobby.

“Hey, Bobby. Dad’s in the kitchen?” Sam asked.

“Yep, making some breakfast for the four of us.” Bobby said.

“That’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear you say.” Dean grinned.

“Well, it looks like it’s time for some change.” Bobby replied, giving the two Winchester boys a smile. Dean and Sam smiled back, as they sat down on the couch to wait for breakfast.

_

When breakfast had finished, Bobby excused himself to leave, needing to go out and run a few errands.

“Dean, why don’t you go with him? I want some alone time with Sam.”

For a second it looked like Dean was going to refuse, and John understood if he didn’t want to leave. But Dean nodded, getting up. ‘Yeah, sure Dad.”

John gave him a smile and watched Bobby and Dean walk off, before turning to Sam.

“What’s up, Dad?” Sam asked.

“Sam…” John said, giving a small pause to really think about what he wanted to say. “I know that you’ve been struggling. Mentally.” John started, knowing that he was very well swimming in uncharted waters right now. Hell, this whole experience was uncharted waters, but John knew that no one was swimming alone.

“Dad…I…” Sam started, sighing.

“Sam, just let me finish. I want to tell you something. I’ve seen that you are struggling mentally, and I want you to know that it’s OK. You’re independent, you’re an adult. Me and Dean, we’ll let you be as independent as you can. Yeah, you’ll need some help, but that doesn’t make you any less independent. I want you to know is that it’s OK if you let me or Dean take the wheel every now and then, and let yourself be taken care of. If you need to take a step back and just let us worry about what you need, we’ll be there. We’ll always be there for you Sam.

Sam nodded, eyes looking watery, and John reached out, gripping Sam’s shoulder.

“You’re my son Sam. I promise you that from here on out, I’m always going to be there for you.”

“OK Dad.” Sam smiled, sniffling and wiping his nose.

John returned the smile, and got up. “Let me clean these dishes, and then you and me can work on strengthening your legs.”

_

By the time Dean and Bobby came back, John and Sam were outside, making their way around the salvage yard, John leading Sam like how you would a toddler learning how to walk.

Dean and Bobby got out of his truck and Dean grinned from ear to ear.

“Look at the two of you! Nice going Sammy!” Dean said, carrying groceries into the house.

“Doin’ good, Sam.” Bobby agreed, following after Dean.

Sam grinned, panting a little and sweating from the hard work, and John chuckled. “Let’s go in. you deserve a bit of a break.”

“Yeah, I’m getting a little exhausted.” Sam nodded, letting John help him back inside. “Can I watch some TV, Dad?”

“Sure thing, Sam.” John set Sam up on the couch, and picked up the remote. “What do you want to watch?”

“Just pick something you think I’d like.” Sam said.

John nodded, and started flipping through the channels before he landed on some documentary.

“That’ll work.” Sam nodded, glad that he wasn’t watching baby shows anymore. Dean came walking in the room, a baby bottle in hand, and John smiled, nodding, and leaving the brothers alone.

“Hey, Sammy. Do you wanna…” Dean said, walking forward. Dean would give Sam a bottle to drink from, needing to get Sam nutrients some way while they worked more and more solid food into his diet again.

“Sure.” Sam nodded. watching Dean walk over, and sitting down beside him on the couch.

The two adjusted themselves, Sam resting partly on Dean, eyes on the screen as he drank from the bottle. The first day that Dean tried to do this, Sam wasn’t sure about it, cause of how many times he’d been fed drugged bottles. But after Dean showed him it wasn’t drugged, Sam easily drank from it, relaxing against Dean, as he did so.

Today was no different, as Sam drank down the liquid as he watched his show.

When the bottle was finished, Dean put it to the side, letting Sam rest on him as they watched Sam’s TV show, even though Dean had no idea what the hell they were talking about.

“Hey, um…Dean…I…I need to use the bathroom , but I don’t think I’m gonna make it in time to try to use the toilet.” Sam said, looking up at his brother.

“If you need to use the diaper, go ahead, it’s what it’s there for. I’ll change you and we won’t have to worry about anything else.”

“It’ll be OK, De’?” Sam asked softly.

“It’ll be OK, Sammy.” Dean replied.

Sam nodded, and took a soft breath, before he relaxed and Dean knew that he used the diaper.

“Let me go get you a new one.” Dean said. “Plus, Sammy, when you can really start walking again, and get better use of you hands, it’ll help us be able to get you to the bathroom more, which means less diapers for you.”

Sam smiled and nodded and that realization, as Dean got up and left to get a new diaper for Sam.

Sam sighed, looking around the room, seeing his life now, versus what it was just three months prior. He knew that it was probably going to suck for the next few months as he worked to function like he used to, but with the support he’s been getting, Sam knew that he could do it.


End file.
